wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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