You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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