can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
