4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
