Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
