The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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