I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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