ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
