Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
