What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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