Farmville is her only friend.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
