What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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