He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
