I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
