How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
