Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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