Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
