sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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