I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'd cum for enchiladas.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
