I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
