girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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