he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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