Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
tell me about the eggs
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
