atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
