let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
