I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
