plz talk dirty to me
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
