I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
