ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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