i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
