Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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