So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
