The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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