I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
