You smell like stripper and shame
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
