Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
