mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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