thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
