Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
