do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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