talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just invented taco cereal.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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