Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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