Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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