Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
