He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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