i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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