her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
