I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
