oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
my phone needs a breathalizer
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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