a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Nobody cheats on THIS.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
