You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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