we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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