there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
