Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
