Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
