Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize