Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
