i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
