Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
