Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm bleeding and have questions
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
