I hate your face
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
